Hi I’m Kaycee, 30 (well turning 31 soon) and “suffering” from bipolar disorder. I was professionaly diagnosed when I was 21 but the doctor told me I probably had this ever since. Bipolar disorder is genetic and can be triggered (activated) through trauma or a really shitty childhood. Today is actually a celebration. Shifting from my previous depressive semi-suicidal episodes, I am now in MANIA O_O. I was planning to just write about how I exhaust myself till I burn out from work to waste all this excess energy. But look, I jotted down 5 things I do to cope with Mania
Shout out to Project Vanity for their 10th yr anniversary! The photo above was taken in their pink booth
What is Mania?
How Am I Coping with a Manic Episode?
THROUGH MOTHAFUCK** PRODUCTIVITY BABYYYYYYY. During my years of youth I was carelessly impulsive. I make irrational decisions. Do things I regret afterwards then make me feel so shitty that I go back to being depressed. It’s a crazy cycle and I have to cope. Medications? Been there, done that. It changes who I am. I feel like a zombie when under medication.
During a manic episode I feel invincible. MESSIAH COMPLEX! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING! But it doesn’t mean you should. Most of the time, I regret most things I do during a manic episode.
There’s also a backlash of feeling too god-like that I spend money like I won’t run out (it does) or worse, create conflict and drama I don’t necessarily want. THIS WAS BEFORE I WAS SELF-AWARE.
It comes with age I guess. I feel it. You can sense it. Talking to myself saying “You’ve been here before kaycee. You got this”.
5 Things I Do to Cope During a Manic Episode
Now instead of doing stupid things like cheating or emptying my bank/credit accounts, I do the following.
- WORK; Our minds can be an endless source of creativity. Express it through whatever
- STOCK MARKET; Feeling itchy to spend? Why not use that extra cash in buying stocks. Instead of getting that pair of boots you won’t wear anyway. (Be careful though! Some shares crash!)
- SAVE; Force save. I recently invested in a “life/insurance plan” from Axxa through my friend Kira. It’s automatically debited from my account and I won’t be able to pull it out until it’s ripe.
- WRITE THINGS DOWN; I have a BDJ planner that I use to jot everything that pops up in my head. If I don’t have access to the planner (it’s heavy sometimes I leave it at home); I write down my ideas in my mobile phone
- EXERCISE; This is something I do whether I’m in a depressive state or a manic state. When depressed, the euphoria boosts my mood. When manic, it burns out the super excess energy.
As of writing this, I also finished around 9 articles and 3 vlogs in advance. I still want to write some more. Mind is willing but the flesh is weak. I’m exhausted already but I could go on and on and on and on. Maybe I’ll continue tomorrow. I’ll call it a day and go binge watch RuPaul’s Drag Race. Biyeeeeeee!
Comparing both polar ends. I prefer being in mania and be productive rather than be depressed.
I'd like to hear your thoughts, please do comment below. If you have feedbacks, suggestions, comments. Basically, it makes my heart fuzzy to know you were here :)-Love, KikaySiKat
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