Personal Musings

How’s Your Heart Lately?

Enough with the mumbo jumbo of press releases and product reviews.  As much as I enjoy attending and having these blog perks I kinda miss my freedom of expression. I hope you don’t mind if I shit my thoughts for a while.

The past few days if you have been following my twitter or instagram I’ve been posting hints of loneliness in my posts.  Bad for my kikay-giddy image? I guess.  I’m not sure.  Maybe brands would appreciate the fact that I’m a real person,  flawed and unperfect.  We can’t be cheery all the time can we? Jaded.

I got this coined term from Liz (projectvanity. com)  where some “famed”  bloggers would be so clouded and overwhelmed with all the perks that thyry actually forget why they’re doing this in the first place.  To share what we love and know to readers or we can also rant about what we don’t like so much so you can be aware.

In terms of my personal life,  pardon if I vent but it is indeed a challenge to extinguish demons I create in my mind. I get paranoid sometimes and think that people,  even those I love,  would do things that would hurt me like betrayal and abandonment. I wonder if anyone could relate to this.  Trauma from the past maybe?  To those who has been following this blog,  you know my story of how my husband left me and my son alone around 3 years ago.

Should we always blame the past?  If we think logically we can all agree that once we forgive and learn,  we can get on and move forward with our lives ; learning to love again,  learning to trust again.  It’s only and always fear that is holding us back from opening ourselves again to others. This is not just in romantic relationships mind you,  it can also be applied to friendships.  I need to open my heart to be able to finally fully express myself.
I need to focus on what’s real and what is. 

How’s your heart lately?


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