The Meantime Girl
She`s the one you call when you`re bored because she makes you
laugh. She`s the one you talk to when you`re feeling down because she`s
willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She`s not the one you call when
you need a date to your company`s Christmas party, or to go dancing with
on a Saturday night. She`s the one you spend time with between
girlfriends, before you find `The One`. You know, the one you keep in
She`s not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don`t look at her
as a “real” woman, either. She`s not bitchy enough, moody enough, or
sexy enough to be seen in the light. She`s too laid-back, too easily
amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She`s too
understanding, too comfortable. Doesn`t make you feel nervous or excited
the way a `real` woman does. But she`s cool, nice and funny, and
attractive enough that when you`re lonely and need intimate female
companionship, she`ll do just fine.
You don`t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you
already, and you don`t have any facades to keep up, no pretense to
preserve. You`re not trying to get anything of substance out of her.
She`s not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted
to you. And you know that you don`t have to explain yourself or the
situation, that she`ll be able to cope with the fact that this isn`t the
beginning of a relationship or that there`s any possiblity that you
have any real romantic feelings for her.
It won`t bother her that you`ll get up in the morning, put on your
pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you`ve been mooning
over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She`ll settle for a
goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went.
She`s just so cool.. why can`t all women be like that?!
But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably
don`t.. because to you, the situation between the two of you isn`t
important enough to merit any real thought) you know that it`s really
You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know
that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don`t
think she`s good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it`smostly
her fault, because she doesn`t have to give in to your needs – she could
really play hard-to-get. Bitch like the rest of them do, if she really
wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn`t pull it
off. Maybe she`s too short, or a little overweight, or has big birthmark
on her forehead, or works at Taco Bell, or just really not that type.
Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really
great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they
want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast
companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess
who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman.
You`ll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding,
and she`ll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux.
She doesn`t captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile.
Mainly, she blends in with the crowd. She`s safe. She doesn`t want
to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the
room. But she wants to turn someone`s head. She wants to be SPECIAL to
someone, too. We all do.
She has feelings. She has heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger
heart than any woman you`ve ever known because she`s had a front-row
seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway.
She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because
although you`ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be
around, she is.
I remember that I encountered this essay way way back in highschool and couldnt relate to it. Now I understand.
credits to: http://www.angelfire.com/stars5/themeantimegirl/
oh i think celine lopez wrote this or something like this in her coffee to cocktails column before 🙂 love it!