Lifestyle, Personal Musings, Skin Whitening

Confession: Ayoko ng Magpaputi ATBP


I have to let this out of my chest. The cat’s out of the bag. Controversial as it sounds, yes. Ayoko ng magpaputi (Please read disclaimer at the bottom). I don’t aim to have paper-white skin anymore. I no longer take glutathione to lighten my skin, nor use skin whitening products to change my original skin color. l

My blog originally started back 2009 because I was vain, insecure, and impulsive. I was insecure with almost everything, having morena (tan) skin. Kept up with the trends and waste money on things I’ll just leave in the closet after using it once.  I spend on things just to have them because of the hype.

My Dark History


Pun intended. I was raised in a traditional colonial-minded family where being white was synonymous to perfection. They taught things backwards. Like, be submissive to men. Don’t talk back to adults even if you’re right.

Being dark was synonymous to being ugly. I was deemed the ugliest of our family because I was born with a tan complexion. I got my lola’s nose and cheekbones, my mom’s curvy hips, my great grandma’s slender arms, and my lolo’s charm. BUT all my cousins got the Spanish-blood complexion AKA Mestiza, the others were Chinita.

I am the sole morena. I grew up feeling ugly and insecure, that I was not good enough. Our country was raised to believe that those who have fairer skin are superior it’s about time for change!

From childhood til almost present-day I was taught all the types of negative connotations with having dark skin. I was bullied for having thick lips and tan skin. It’s only today that women are starting to embrace their own complexion.  Now, women are even injecting shit on their lips to make it pouty. As time went by, I learned to be independent and to love myself. It’s challenging to lead a life of your own when you’re raised to be sheltered with questionable values.

My blog generated a cult-following because of the series of reviews on glutathione and how my before and after photos showed that yes it works. I will never judge people who uses tanning products, or skin lightening products. I respect your own goals and I hope you respect mine. I wrote reviews with the intention of changing who I am because of what other people think.

However, as time went by, my visions and beliefs changed.

I no longer clamor for paper-white skin, having clear and radiant healthy skin is enough. I am proud of my thick lips, morena looks, and petite frame. I hope my blog can inspire you to love yourself and together we’ll be the best versions of ourselves. So um yeah, it took the rest of 2016 to make me realize that is beyond beauty.

Today, continue to join me as I share with you my life as a content creator, a working mom, a fitness junkie, a food enthusiast (aka glutton/matakaw), a proprietor of positivity despite being clinically diagnosed as bipolar. On top of that, we will tackle on extending the lives of beauty products, style, and culture beyond their short lifespan and making trends, timeless.

THANK YOU for supporting KIKAYSIKAT through all these 9 years and I look forward to growing old with you, my readers. I LOVE YOU! ^_^

Disclaimer: I may still feature skin brightening products. My intention of using so would be to achieve an even skin-tone rather than lightening it. I will still take supplements as an anti-oxidant or other help benefits. My goal is to provide you with sensible, trustworthy, and honest reviews. CREDITS TO DISNEY FOR THE MOANA PHOTO


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  • Reply Ela December 28, 2016 at 7:03 am

    Thank you for this. We’ve been raised to think that paper-white, Eurocentric beauty is the end-all, be-all, which should not be the case.

    • Reply Kaycee Enerva January 19, 2017 at 12:13 pm

      You’re welcome Ela. Napagod na din ako magpaputi e HAHA gusto ko na lang magmukhang bata forever

  • Reply Nikkie Contreras December 28, 2016 at 1:00 pm

    This one is inspiring Ms Kat. 🙂 Let’s embrace what God has given us. <3

  • Reply Anonymous January 4, 2017 at 3:41 pm

    Hey Ms Kat,

    Your honest post is really much needed to be heard especially in the Asian society. As gluta supplementation is not that well known in Malaysia, celebrities are consuming these pills and when the media asks how come they go from dark to extremely fair, most of them just say ” I’m naturally born this way, perhaps last time I go under the sun too much.” Then they will say and promote to just be natural and love yourself while at the back, they’re forcing themselves with these pills to make themselves fair.

    I for myself would like to share my experience. I’ve stumbled upon gluta back in 2011, I was a morena and within 3 months of consumption, I was extremely like paper-white fair, I just couldn’t believe how well and fast it worked on me. As years passed, despite me constantly being discipline with my gluta routine, I started noticing my skin slowly getting darker back to its original colour. No matter how much gluta I take and no matter what brand I take, it has no effect. I read a medical article that says after some time, the body will adapt to the additional gluta taken and it will find its way to still release the melanin despite the supplementation. I fell into a state of depression. I was so scarred that all my hard work and effort will go to waste and those days when I was bullied for being dark will come back again. Hearing your post really helped me alot on a personal level because this is usually a very sensitive topic that most will prefer to keep it to themselves and hide it under the rug.

    • Reply Kaycee Enerva January 19, 2017 at 12:16 pm

      Wow, everything you said is true. I feel you. That’s why we should just target to have healthy skin as our goal.

  • Reply DEAR KIKAYSIKAT: What Are Tone-Up Creams? aka Finishing Cream aka Boosting Cream - Top Beauty and Lifestyle Blog on Makeup, Skincare, Fitness, Tech, Food, Travel December 16, 2017 at 4:20 am

    […] Most of the time, tone-up products are found in whitening and brightening lines, as the effects are similar on the skin.  Sunscreens, primers, and other makeup bases will have slight tints to even out skin tone. Whether they’re eye creams, serums, lotions, or sunscreens, tone-up products all have the same general effect: evening out and brightening skin tone. This does not necessarily mean they will make your skin miraculously shades whiter. That’s a common misconcepcion that’s why I’m starting to dislike the term “whitening” now (See: Ayoko na Magpaputi) […]

  • Reply REVIEW: Seoul White Korea Double White Whitening Soap - Top Beauty and Lifestyle Blog on Makeup, Skincare, Fitness, Tech, Food, Travel December 22, 2017 at 4:20 am

    […] I discussed about how I no longer want to be fair in one of my previous posts (READ: Ayoko na magpaputi). When what they really meant was brightening and that’s what I want my skin to be. Glowing, […]

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